Joke: Some truth about Marriage

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the
only thing in life!!
-Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
-Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-Sam Kinison

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-H. L. Mencken

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
-H. L. Mencken

"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2

Marriage is a three-ring circus:
-engagement ring
-wedding ring
-suffering

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
-Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
-Anonymous

Joke: Moms will be Moms

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,Mom.

Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

Joke: Dirty mind

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I coma one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorts the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," says the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella MISSISSIPPI."

Joke: Johnny & Office Girl

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO.

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!