Friday, December 31, 2010

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T LO's New Year's Buffet

Let us all be fabulous bitches together.Darlings, kittens, poodles, and beloved, precious unborn fawns, as the busiest year in T Lo history comes to a close, we find ourselves reflecting. Nothing philosophical, mind you. Who the hell wants to think heavy thoughts when there are just so many light and fluffy ones to choose from? No, the year-end wool-gathering around here has taken a decidedly

Extra Extra This Just In: More Cat Names and Other Cat-Related News

That's right, the post-it on the fridge is full. What post-it you ask? Why, it's the "Names For Cats," an on-going list I keep of the names I call my cats, names that are not their birth names. They probably don't even know their names (Tomago and Oshinko). Looking at this current batch, you'll see that some of the names are addressed to both of them at once and then also you'll see that some of them are for them individually. Tomago is fat and cute. Oshinko, his sister, is skinny and cute. So here we go:

Snack & Snack Incorporated
Monsieur Mushy Belly
Mushy Pickle
Picklepuss
Puddin' Pop
Pontius Pudding
Puddin' Puss

Now I'll start a new post-it to put on the fridge. Just in time for 2011. Happy new year, my liddle kitties! Yeah, that's right, Mr. Spellcheck On My Computer! "Liddle!" Because that's how I pronounce it. Phonetic this, Blog Speller!

With snappy weird non-sensical one-liners like that I should write for Hollywood blockbuster films.

Also: the word phonetic is NOT spelled phonetically. Oh, the irony.

Also! This year I listened to a bit more Cheap Trick (how did I not get in to them earlier? They've got some really great stuff -- it takes someone else to have it in their collection to expose me to it), and because I never look at song titles, every time I hear the song "''Elo Kiddies" I think they're saying "Hello Kitty." Ha ha ha ha.

I have to imagine I am NOT the first person to think this, based on a few things I've found on the web, including this one:


Someone who works in CEOtrends was writing about this? How funny.

Hapy new year! Resolutions?

WELCOME

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Victoria Beckham’s New Year’s Resolution – Drink Less Champagne!

 Victoria Beckham’s New Year’s Resolution – Drink Less Champagne!

Ah, it’s just about that time to start planning those New Year’s resolutions again, and Victoria Beckham has a few already. In order to begin 2011 on a healthier note, Victoria has a few resolutions for herself;
“I’d like to sleep more, drink more water and less champagne. But you have to keep it real.”
Hmmm, for a super busy mother of 3 with her own booming fashion line – not sure how real those are!  And I wonder if that resolution to drink less champagne will work out for her though, since she’s said that she and David Beckham keep their marriage alive by having weekly date nights;
“We go and get drunk and have a date every Wednesday.”
“Sometimes we treat each other to an afternoon at the Beverly Hills Hotel and we’ll each have a massage and spend the day in our robes.”
Well, maybe she can just drink less champagne every day of the week but Wednesday! Something tells me that the former ‘Posh’ Spice might have a hard time giving up her champagne:-D
So do you make new year’s resolutions?

Selena Gomez Admits To Having A Crush On…

 Selena Gomez Admits To Having A Crush On…

… ‘Tranformers‘ star Shia LaBeouf! Wonder how Justin Bieber feels about that? Or maybe Selena Gomez gave this interview before she began hanging out with the singer ;) . When asked what type of guy Selena likes, here was her response:
“I don’t have a perfect boy. I guess they need to be honest and they need to be some who can really be myself around. Although, if they look identical to Shia LaBeouf that would be great! You should be out having fun when you’re younger, not getting caught up in a committed relationship.”
Hmmm… Justin is cute and all, but let’s be honest: he’s no Shia.
Selena confessed she doesn’t even like dating.
“I don’t actually like dates. I get awkward as I never know what to do. I still get butterflies and wobbly legs around a boy I like. But the best thing is to be very open and don’t shut yourself off. Enjoy being young.”
That makes sense, seeing how Selena is only 18! But I still think Justin and Selena seem very friendly…

Leighton Meester Covers Seventeen Magazine

 Leighton Meester Covers Seventeen Magazine

I am a big Gossip Girl fan so I love to see Leighton Meester getting more exposure! Leighton covers the February issue of Seventeen Magazine and talks about how boyfriends really aren’t that important to her!
17 to LM – The last time we talked [for your cover in March 2009], having a boyfriend wasn’t a priority for you. Do you still feel that way?
LM – “Yeah. I’m glad that you’re reminding me of that! I would say the same thing today as well. I think that the importance of love is really strong for me in my life, whether it’s a guy or a friend or just my puppy. I think love changes you over time, and whether you have good or bad experiences, you always grow and learn from it. And if I shut love down or didn’t let it in, I would just be this really cold, sad person.”
Leighton’s issue of Seventeen will be on newsstands on January 4th. I love seeing her in clothes that aren’t her signature ‘Blair Waldorf’ look! Leighton can be seen next in Country Strong, opening everywhere January 11 – are you planning on seeing it? Leighon sings in the movie and is pretty good!  I think it looks interesting, but not sure if I’m intrigued enough to see it in the theatres!

Brandi Glanville “Couldn’t Care Less” About Eddie Cibrian And LeAnn Rimes Engagement

 Brandi Glanville “Couldn’t Care Less” About Eddie Cibrian And LeAnn Rimes Engagement

There’s one person who couldn’t care less about the engagement news of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian – Eddie’s ex-wife Brandi Glanville. Though she didn’t release a statement saying so, a friend of Brandi’s shared with Us Weekly:
“Brandi knew this was coming for a while, but after everything she’s been through since finding out, she couldn’t care less. LeAnn has gotten exactly what she wanted from the get go,”
The source then gives LeAnn a bit of advice/warning:
“[Brandi] never wanted Eddie back, so it didn’t matter if they got engaged, broke up or whatever. But now he’s LeAnn’s problem. She can wonder what he’s doing on those boys-only trips, who he’s always texting, who’s at his poker nights. As long as she continues to be good to her two boys, it doesn’t matter to Brandi.”
Well, at least her priority is how LeAnn treats her boys – that’s the most important part of the equation now. I wonder if these two ever did get together and talk like Brandi said she was ready to do? I suppose she has had a bit on her plate with the DUI and all.

I know they way they got together wasn’t ideal in any way, but hopefully they can all put it past them eventually and move on and heal. (imnotobsessed)

Photos by WENN

Vivid Entertainment’s Head Honcho To Buy Nadya “Octomom” Suleman’s House?

 Vivid Entertainment’s Head Honcho To Buy Nadya “Octomom” Suleman’s House?

Nadya Suleman is on the verge of losing her home once again, but this time she may have a “friend” willing to swoop in and rescue her from foreclosure. Steve Hirsch, head of Vivid Entertainment tells TMZ he is looking into buying the $450,000 note on the home! Vivid has been trying to woo Nadya into starring in a porn movie for some time now, so this just feels all kinds of wrong. He tells TMZ:
This would be a great opportunity to begin a relationship with Octomom.”
He’s reportedly trying to negotiate on the price of the note.

What do you think of it? On the one hand, it’d save her from being homeless, but on the other…it feels like blackmail, doesn’t it? Or just a way to hold her home over her head to get her to star in a video for their company. (imnotobsessed)

Tom Felton Visits The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter At Universal Orlando Resort

 Tom Felton Visits The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter At Universal Orlando Resort

Tom Felton, best known for portraying Draco Malfoy in the blockbuster Harry Potter series, visited with the Beauxbatons at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter during his recent visit to Universal Orlando Resort on December 28.

After enjoying Butterbeer with his friends and visiting Hogwarts castle, Felton spent the rest of his Universal Orlando vacation enjoying the rides and attractions at both theme parks.

I am SO JEALOUS!! I’m heading down to Orlando in a few months and am going to try my hardest to get to this theme park. I am HOPING I can make it happen. Have any of you been yet? As a fan, are you anticipating going this year?

Celebrity Pictures: Kim Kardashian

 Celebrity Pictures: Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian was spotted heading into a business meeting at a studio in Culver City. Pretty sure this is about the most casual we have EVER seen this girl dressed. And by casual, of course I mean topped off with an Hermes bag. What? That isn’t how you do casual?

Following the meeting, Kim tweeted,
OMG u guys have no idea what I’m doing today! You are gonna DIE.
And then shortly after wrote,
OMGGGG I’m nervous!!!!!!
I have to admit — I’m curious! What could possibly be more exciting than Mason saying Kim for the first time?!

Anyone have a guess as to this new and mysterious project Kim is working on? Movie? Song? What could it be?

Rep Confirms Reese Witherspoon And Jim Toth Are Engaged

 Rep Confirms Reese Witherspoon And Jim Toth Are Engaged

BAM! We have rep confirmation! As INO reported yesterday, Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth are engaged. Reese’s rep doesn’t give any details, but did verify that Jim Toth liked it so much he put a ring on it, and added,
“They are extremely happy.“
And I am happy for them. Nice to know that Reese never gave up on love and marriage after all she went through with Ryan Phillippe. Jim Toth seems like he is blending in well with the family.  I bet the kids are excited!

In case you are wondering just exactly who Jim Toth is — he’s an agent at Creative Artists Agency where Reese is a client of another agent.

Leighton Meester Is The Next Taylor Swift?

 Leighton Meester Is The Next Taylor Swift?

Uh oh. Looks like we have another Taylor Swift on our hands. Leighton Meester talked about what her process is when she writes songs for the band she’s in and how she goes about making her music. Sounds an awfully lot like someone else we know.
“I’m working with a band right now, doing a lot of acoustic music through singing and writing. It’s really fun and fulfilling. It’s an expression of what I have in my life and what I’m going through, or what I have gone through, and of course, it’s mostly about love or relationships. The ups and downs that come along, which I think are universal.”
Next thing you know we’ll be trying to guess which Gossip Girl co-star each song is about, kind of like we do with Taylor and her men.

Who here is a fan of Leighton’s music? Now that she’s also singing in movies, I wonder if she’s trying to steer her career towards more music and less acting?

Katy Perry Incorporating Scent Into Tour?

 Katy Perry Incorporating Scent Into Tour?

Oy vey! What will they come up with next?!

Sooooo….groundbreaking? Or just plain weird? Katy Perry wants her fans to have a full experience so she’s decided that she’s going to incorporate sense of smell into her next tour.
“It’s going to be great – all the dates have sold out in the UK already. I want it to be really fun and very visual.
“It’s going to engage all the senses, so we’re looking into alternative stuff like smell. We’re talking to a couple of companies at the moment about creating an aroma for the performance.”
Katy Perry adds that her wardrobe is a production in and of itself. She does wear some crazy tight clothes when she performs!
“There will be a medley of looks, and they’ll be very strong. When I get changed during a show it’s like I’m at a Formula One pit stop. There’s Velcro being ripped off and stuff getting strapped onto me.
“On my ‘Hurricane’ tour I wore a different outfit every single night. It was crazy, and not cheap.”
I’m not so sure I would enjoy a scent being blasted at my while I was at a concert. Sense of small is a very particular thing and what one person may love, another hates. Do you think you would enjoy the way Katy is going to incorporate scent into her tour?

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FP_6190444_RIJ_GRAMMY_NOMINATIONS_120110 

FP_6190445_RIJ_GRAMMY_NOMINATIONS_120110
 Photos by Fame

Has Snooki Been Banned From Times Square On New Year’s Eve?

 Has Snooki Been Banned From Times Square On New Year’s Eve?

Well, ‘Jersey Shore’ spitfire Snooki hasn’t been completely banned from Times Square on New Year’s Eve. But her planned stunt has been forbidden, according to Pop Eater’s Rob Shuter.
“The Snooki ball drop isn’t going to happen in Times Square,” an insider tells me. “At midnight, the crowd and the media will be watching Mayor Bloomberg, Dick Clark and the official ball drop, not a cast member of the ‘Jersey Shore.’”
I wonder if it was Snooki spilling the beans on her plans that ruined it?
“No way would they allow this to take place. MTV rents a position in the Square that night like every other media outlet. You can’t get access to the Square without an official credential. You have to play by the official rules or you get kicked out, which is exactly what has happened to MTV and Snooki,” an insider tells me.
Who would you rather watch at the very beginning of 2011: the ‘Jersey Shore’ crew or the official ball drop (along with New York City Mayor Bloomberg and Dick Clark)?

Quote Of The Day – Amanda Seyfried

 Quote Of The Day – Amanda Seyfried
“I was super-outgoing until I was around 10. I got a bit older and started getting shy. Way too shy. “I felt so extremely ugly. When I look back, I was not ugly – I was cute and had a gap in my teeth. But I wish I could have enjoyed that part of my life and be more confident.”
-Amanda Seyfried

Eddie Murphy And Owen Wilson Are NOT Dead!

 Eddie Murphy And Owen Wilson Are NOT Dead!

The Twitter death hoaxes are INSANE this week! Today the hot topics are whether or not Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson were killed. Every few months there’s a hoax of some sort, but this out of control. Really people! Stop the madness!!!

It’s going to be sad if something terrible happens to a celebrity in the next few days because NOBODY will believe it!

Charlie Sheen, Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Aretha Franklin, Owen Wilson = all ALIVE!

Photos by INF

Christie Brinkley Graces Prevention Magazine’s February Cover


Christie Brinkley sat down with Prevention magazine to dish on everything from beauty secrets to motherhood to romance. She shares:
On her divorce:
“You’ve got to find a way to keep laughing, even if it’s black humor, and my friends are very good at that. Some people think of happiness as a luxury, but it’s a necessity, and you need to make space for it in your life.”
On the possibilities of another romantic relationship:
“Most of the time, I’ve got my kids with me, so I’m not as prone to meeting people. And then, you never really know if someone is talking to you because you’re a celebrity. It’s not my number one priority.”
On her biggest career regret
“I didn’t do Saturday Night Live when they asked me to and I wished that I had now because I love that show and I faithfully watch it whenever I can, I rush back to get home for Saturday Night Live.”
 Christie Brinkley Graces Prevention Magazine’s February Cover

Christie Brinkley sat down with Prevention magazine to dish on everything from beauty secrets to motherhood to romance. She shares:
On her divorce:
“You’ve got to find a way to keep laughing, even if it’s black humor, and my friends are very good at that. Some people think of happiness as a luxury, but it’s a necessity, and you need to make space for it in your life.”
On the possibilities of another romantic relationship:
“Most of the time, I’ve got my kids with me, so I’m not as prone to meeting people. And then, you never really know if someone is talking to you because you’re a celebrity. It’s not my number one priority.”
On her biggest career regret
“I didn’t do Saturday Night Live when they asked me to and I wished that I had now because I love that show and I faithfully watch it whenever I can, I rush back to get home for Saturday Night Live.”



On the pressures of the media spotlight:
“I also think that the TV shows and internet shows need all this celebrity scrutiny in them. It creates an environment for young girls of “how can anybody attain the perfect that they demand of you on all of these outlets.” There’s always somebody waiting to catch a bad angle and then send it out to the whole world. Girls are home alone in their room and going “well gosh I have cellulite on my leg like that and look how she’s being vilified.” What is that doing to everybody’s self esteem and confidence and willingness to just breathe and live and enjoy their life?”
Being a celebrity:
“I think for me the biggest positive that’s come from being sort of a celebrity or in the public eye is that it’s given me the ability to give back and to be able to speak out on issues that are important to me such as protecting our environment, children’s health issues and I consider that a real gift, a real honor to be able to help wonderful organizations achieve their goal.”
On family:
“I always knew I wanted to be a mother…it takes a lot of work. My work makes me a better mom. It gives me a little door to step out of my parenting and bring the excitement from that day back home.”
Her take on dieting:
“Saying you’re on a diet puts you in the frame of denying yourself. But if you replace ‘diet’ with ‘healthy choices,’ you’re giving yourself the gift of feeling good. Go ahead and have the Kit Kat at the movies. If you don’t satisfy an urge sometimes, you often substitute less-satisfying things and end up eating more. I’m cooking for two kids, and they don’t think a dish is complete unless it’s sitting on top of pasta!”
Her Beauty Secret To Young-Looking Skin
“It’s not a secret, I love to exfoliate. I once read a long, long time ago that men tend to look younger than women and it’s because they shave and when they shave they’re exfoliating their skin so I thought well I don’t want them to have an unfair advantage so I immediately started using exfoliators.”


On the pressures of the media spotlight:
“I also think that the TV shows and internet shows need all this celebrity scrutiny in them. It creates an environment for young girls of “how can anybody attain the perfect that they demand of you on all of these outlets.” There’s always somebody waiting to catch a bad angle and then send it out to the whole world. Girls are home alone in their room and going “well gosh I have cellulite on my leg like that and look how she’s being vilified.” What is that doing to everybody’s self esteem and confidence and willingness to just breathe and live and enjoy their life?”
Being a celebrity:
“I think for me the biggest positive that’s come from being sort of a celebrity or in the public eye is that it’s given me the ability to give back and to be able to speak out on issues that are important to me such as protecting our environment, children’s health issues and I consider that a real gift, a real honor to be able to help wonderful organizations achieve their goal.”
On family:
“I always knew I wanted to be a mother…it takes a lot of work. My work makes me a better mom. It gives me a little door to step out of my parenting and bring the excitement from that day back home.”
Her take on dieting:
“Saying you’re on a diet puts you in the frame of denying yourself. But if you replace ‘diet’ with ‘healthy choices,’ you’re giving yourself the gift of feeling good. Go ahead and have the Kit Kat at the movies. If you don’t satisfy an urge sometimes, you often substitute less-satisfying things and end up eating more. I’m cooking for two kids, and they don’t think a dish is complete unless it’s sitting on top of pasta!”
Her Beauty Secret To Young-Looking Skin
“It’s not a secret, I love to exfoliate. I once read a long, long time ago that men tend to look younger than women and it’s because they shave and when they shave they’re exfoliating their skin so I thought well I don’t want them to have an unfair advantage so I immediately started using exfoliators.”

Michael Jackson Killed Himself: Dr. Conrad’s Newest Plea

 Michael Jackson Killed Himself: Dr. Conrad’s Newest Plea

Michael Jackson killed himself according to Dr. Conrad Murray. A trial is about to begin over the involuntary manslaughter of the singer and Conrad’s lawyers will use the defense that Michael took his own life.

During yesterday’s initial hearing Dr. Conrad Murray’s team of lawyers put forth their defense and suggested that Michael administered the lethal dose of Propofol himself.

Defence lawyer J. Michael Flanagan said his client gave the singer just 25 milligrams of Propofol – much less than was found in his system and that a fingerprint found on a broken syringe on the bedroom floor has not been identified.

I guess all they are hoping to create is doubt. But to think that Michael Jackson killed himself? I’m not so sure the jury will believe that.

If Dr Murray is charged with involuntary manslaughter, he will face up to four years in prison.

Celebrity Fashion Find: Brandy In Rock And Republic

 
 Celebrity Fashion Find: Brandy In Rock And Republic

Brandy was photographed wearing a pair of Rock and Republic heels earlier this week. The Chickory in black are available online for $350.  Do you love to keep up with celebrity fashion? Check out my celebrity fashion page over on ‘Lady and the Blog’ or click on ‘Get the Look‘ in my header for some great ideas on how you can mimic the style… but for a lot less.

Marc Anthony Owes MILLIONS In Taxes

 
 Marc Anthony Owes MILLIONS In Taxes

Marc Anthony ONCE AGAIN is WAY behind on his taxes. Radar Online is reporting that the singer owes Nassau County $1.8 million in property tax and NY authorities have files charges against him to make sure the debt is paid.

This is ON TOP of the $1.6 million federal tax lien that was filed three months ago on the same property. Talk about swimming in the red.

But Marc probably isn’t stressing out. In 2007, he was ordered to pay $2.5 million in back taxes. This man is used to accumulating such large debt. Someone needs to hire a good accountant.

Queen Latifah Opens Up About Having Children In This Week’s Parade Magazine

 
 Queen Latifah Opens Up About Having Children In This Week’s Parade Magazine

Queen Latifah opened up to Parade Magazine about having a ten year plan, having children, and growing up Jersey. If you are a fan, you’ll be happy to know that in a few days you can catch Queen Latifah hosting the People’s Choice Awards (Jan 5th). Until then, here are some quotes from her recent interview.

10 year plan: I hope to be “on cruise control, with a couple of kids under my belt.”  Is  she moving in that direction?  “It’s in the Lord’s hands,” she says.

Growing up in New Jersey: “There’s something about growing up in New Jersey that prepares you for whatever you might encounter around the world. We’re not afraid to go places. I met Mike ‘The Situation’ because we were both on Jay Leno. He lives maybe 15 minutes from me. He was like, ‘If you ever get a flat tire, call me and I’ll hook you up.’ I love Jersey.”

Giving advice to Kate Middleton: “Make sure you have a sanctuary, because everybody in the world is going to be in your business. He happened to be born a prince; you happened to go to college and meet him. You’re two kids who fell in love. I just hope you have a happy life. And don’t take anything personally.”

Diane Kruger Lands New Movie Role: Marie Antoinette

 
 Diane Kruger Lands New Movie Role: Marie Antoinette

Diane Kruger has landed the lead role in the Benoît Jacquot-directed “Farewell, My Queen” – a movie focusing on the life of Marie Antoinette during the final days of the French Revolution. Eva Green had originally snagged the role, but pulled out last minute.

Diane has been quietly keeping busy with overseas filming, so this move comes as no surprise.  The movie is set to begin filming this spring. Lea Seydoux and Gerard Depardieu make up the rest of the cast.

Film Critic Slams Most Of Hollywood

 
 Film Critic Slams Most Of Hollywood

British film critic David Thomson basically went NUTS on Hollywood this morning. The ­Editor of The Biographical Dictionary Of Film ripped apart almost every A-lister I can think of during an interview with The Daily Mail. Here is just a sample of what he had to say about today’s top celebs:
  • HUGH JACKMAN: He is hot (I suppose). Now, he just needs to be interesting.
  • KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: She is ­astonishingly beautiful. But Keira is about as interesting as a creme brulée where too much refrigeration has killed flavor with ice burn. She is still more credible as a faintly animated photographer’s model than as an actress.
  • BEN AFFLECK: On one hand I have always had a soft spot for Affleck. But my other view is that he is boring, ­complacent and criminally lucky to have got away with everything so far.
  • BRAD PITT: Hardly anything he touches now is less than ‘precious’ and ‘awesome’ — it can’t be long before he begins to look very tired.
  • HILARY SWANK: In nearly everything she has done, she has been pretty, dull, ordinary and incapable of lifting the film clear of a sanctimonious mud.
  • JENNIFER ANISTON: She’s in her 40s now and her £5 ­million-a-movie career ­cannot go on for much longer. But rather in the manner of Doris Day, while one can make gentle fun of Jennifer Aniston, it’s hard to dislike her.
  • DREW BARRYMORE: I can’t help finding it shocking, as well as startling, that Drew Barrymore was born so recently (in 1975), and yet seems to have been here, and a problem, for so long.
  • GEORGE CLOONEY: It’s clear, as he approaches 50, that George Clooney is the most liked actor in U.S. ­pictures. And it is also clear that he knows it.
  • MATT DAMON: What’s most interesting about Damon is the very lack of good looks — and the feeling of a squashed and rebuilt face.
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JENNIFER ANISTON

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

DREW BARRYMORE

Is there a Silent but Sensible Majority anymore?

A commenter on the PISA post below writes:
Well, the question I ask myself is what percent of the American population doesn't really deep down believe that HBD is probably a substantial factor in all these sorts of things...

Ten percent? Five percent? One percent? Zero percent?

The floor is open for people's guesses...

Back before I started participating 18 years ago in Internet discussions with anonymous participants, I would have agreed with these low estimates. All these years later, however ... I dunno. Maybe there is a Silent But Sensible Majority out there somewhere. Maybe.

To pick a random example of the quality of contemporary thought, here is an online discussion on Hacker News / Ycombinator about Tino's recent blog post at Super-Economy showing the PISA results when you adjust for demographics. Reading through it, it's hard to take away the impression that there are a lot of people out there who are well informed and hold reasonable views. Instead, you just see a lot of people getting intellectually snarled up in their own underwear. 

My approach has always been based around my sense that I'm not smart enough to juggle in my head complex wrong ideas. I need to find the simplest answers that work (but, as Einstein said, no simpler).

Happy New Year

It's time to shake my tin cup again.

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Study Chinese or Spanish?

Nicholas Kristof opines in the NYT:
... we’re seeing Americans engaged in a headlong and ambitious rush to learn Chinese — or, more precisely, to get their kids to learn Chinese. Everywhere I turn, people are asking me the best way for their children to learn Chinese. 

Partly that’s because Chinese classes have replaced violin classes as the latest in competitive parenting, and partly because my wife and I speak Chinese and I have tortured our three kids by trying to raise them bilingual. Chinese is still far less common in schools or universities than Spanish or French, but it is surging and has the “cool factor” behind it — so public and private schools alike are hastening to add Chinese to the curriculum.

In New York City alone, about 80 schools offer Chinese, with some programs beginning in kindergarten. And let’s be frank: If your child hasn’t started Mandarin classes by third grade, he or she will never amount to anything.

Just kidding. In fact, I think the rush to Chinese is missing something closer to home: the paramount importance for our children of learning Spanish.

Look, I’m a fervent believer in more American kids learning Chinese. But the language that will be essential for Americans and has far more day-to-day applications is Spanish. Every child in the United States should learn Spanish, beginning in elementary school; Chinese makes a terrific addition to Spanish, but not a substitute. 

No, unless you have Chinese relatives, or are based in China for your job, or your child is a prodigy at learning languages, having your kid study Chinese will almost surely turn out to be a waste of time. Chinese is hard. Off the top of my head, I can't think of any adult in America who learned Chinese just by going to school in America.

Check out the Chinese Language and Culture Advanced Placement test results. In 2010, 3,426 Asian students scored 5s out of the 4,294 Asians who took the test, for an average score of 4.70. In other words, the AP Chinese test was taken mostly Chinese kids who already spoke Chinese. In contrast, only 229 white kids took the Chinese test, and only 26 in the whole country got a 5. (No Mexican-Americans got a 5, but 4 blacks did.)
Spanish may not be as prestigious as Mandarin, but it’s an everyday presence in the United States — and will become even more so. Hispanics made up 16 percent of America’s population in 2009, but that is forecast to surge to 29 percent by 2050, according to estimates by the Pew Research Center.

As the United States increasingly integrates economically with Latin America, Spanish will become more crucial in our lives.

No, it won't become crucial. 

You can tell by looking at parents' fads in Los Angeles, which is a generation or more ahead of the rest of the country in terms of immigration. I've lived on-and-off in Los Angeles since the 1950s. My parents engaged in the same kind of discussion as this in 1972 when my mom wanted me to take French in high school and my father wanted me to take Spanish, which he argued, like Kristoff in 2010, was more practical.

I suspect the debate was basically about where my parents would like to go on vacations. My mom liked Europe because it was classy, while my father liked Latin America because it was cheap. My dad won, so I took two years of high school Spanish, and he and I took some fun trips to Mexico and South America while my mom stayed home. 

Did this dispute between my parents have major consequences for my life? Not that I notice. Over the last twelve months, the language I've most often wished I'd studied has been German, but that may be a passing phase, and I wouldn't have learned it even if I had studied it, anyway.

I would endorse Spanish as the most reasonable choice for fulfilling a mandatory foreign language requirement, but I think English is becoming so globally dominant that we should probably reconsider whether we should have mandatory foreign language requirements at all. (If we should, then we ought to start them in elementary school, not after puberty when the language learning capability starts to shut down.) 

The point is that I don't know many people in LA today who say, "Wow, I'm so glad my parents made me study Spanish in high school, and it's crucial to my children's future that they learn Spanish." Maybe if you are a politician, a slumlord, or a fast food franchisee. Where I live in LA, Russian and other Slavic languages are heard more and more on the street. (Hey, who won the Cold War anyway?

If any language is trendy with LA parents, it's Chinese. For example, one of the public elementary schools that Davis Guggenheim, director of Waiting for "Superman," drove his kid past in Venice to get to their private school has switched to Mandarin immersion and has recruited a much more fashionable set of children. I can't recall knowing any any white liberal parents in LA looking for a Spanish immersion school.

In LA, which is one of the largest Spanish-speaking cities in the world, Spanish has been out of fashion for years. 

Even Latino kids agree. As I've pointed out before, it might be easier in LA to see a movie in Persian than in Spanish. I go to the Plant 16 movie theatre in Van Nuys a lot, where about 80% of the patrons are Hispanic youths, and they almost never have movies in Spanish, whether dubbed or foreign, and maybe have one out of 16 screens showing an American movie in English with Spanish subtitles. Granted, Van Nuys is, by Latino LA standards, pretty wealthy but still ...

Ron Unz's Prop 227 largely banned bilingual education in 1998, and that rare act of Anglophone assertiveness pushed on an open door. To a typical Mexican-American teen, English is a lot cooler than Spanish.

Similarly, educated liberal white people in LA pay almost zero attention to what is going on in the Spanish-language media in LA. The LA Times and local NPR and PBS stations make minimal effort to stay informed about what Spanish monoglots are talking about. For example, the huge turnouts of illegal aliens at Mayday marches in 2006 was a complete mystery to the LAT/NPR/PBS. Who told all these people to march? It took weeks for the Anglo press in LA to find out that it was funny morning disk jockeys on Spanish-language radio stations. 

Is there any intellectual life in America that's carried out in Spanish? A decade ago, I was fascinated by a series of articles called "Los Amigos de Bush: The disturbing ties of some of George W. Bush’s Latino advisors" by Julie Reynolds in a smart bilingual Mexican-American magazine called El Andar, but nobody else was.

LA isn't Canada or Belgium, where two equally sophisticated cultures compete for cultural dominance. It's definitely not Miami, where Spanish-speaking sophisticates probably have the upper hand. 

LA is just the future.

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